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Sunday, June 04, 2006

Spam


Spammers have been harpooning me relentlessly, flooding my email accounts with all kinds of advertisements. I receive financial deals from relatives of dead African dictators, free palm smart-phones, prizes from online lotteries, zero percent mortgages promises (yes ZERO percent) etc. They even figured out that I have erectile dysfunction and offered me free Viagra and a weapon enhancement surgery. The association of retired bolshevik whores of Moscow were kind enough to offer me physical therapy after the surgery. Once Steve Jobs wrote to me and begged to accept a free iPod. On another occation an agent for The Alfred Nobel foundation, disguised as a Swedish barber, wrote to me that he could arrange a Nobel price for me in exchange for my friend’s email addresses.

Just like most of you, I spend a good half hour every day weeding through my inbox locating genuine emails. Lately, among these junk, I am noticing a spammer inundating me with ads for mangos! “Mangopeti - Alphonso Mangoes - Door Delivered”. Yes,Mangos! Not Viagra not Ephedra not H-51 Hoodia or one of those free molly maid services – Mangos! Delicious, juicy mangos hand picked from the finest orchards in Ratnagiri. I have been deleting these e-mails and marking those as spam. But I am beginning to wonder if I should open it, open it just a little bit so I can see what is written inside.

I love mangos. But I have never eaten a real Alphonso Mango. The nearest I have gotten to is the so called Alphonso mango pulp we get in Indian stores, which my friend from Bombay says is nothing like the real one. Pulp is only like Jithendra; poor man's Amithab Bachan; not the real deal. I would kill to eat a slam dung, honest to goodness Alphonse Kannathaanam. So I am wondering, may be this is my chance, my god given opportunity to savor the real one. Perhaps I should open it and see what MangoPeti is about. Unlike those online poker gigs or date-a-russian-hooker numbers or Paris Hilton with barnyard animal videos this is something that is worth checking out.
May be I should open it.

PS: If I were Pat Robertson I would have even wondered if God himself wrote this e-mail.

6 Comments:

Anonymous Priyadarshan said...

I am receiving tons of emails regarding the fund which left behind by some one in African countries. I surprised to see one another email which is showing that I am the lucky winner of 200 million USD in a lottery draw (LOTO). I laughed almost 3 days 12 minutes and 14 second (thank God, my manager warn to punish me if I laugh anymore). I wrote them back that I need only 10 thousand USD if it is possible and avail all the money with the agency who can withdraw the amount from the bank without any question to me.

Perhaps it is the case as mangos, just mentioned by Byju, but I do not like sweet mangos, those have good content of sugar………….

12:23 AM  
Blogger Anoop said...

"Gundu maaanka thooppukkulle nhandu poole vannaaaye ...

Yarumillaaa neram paathu
Kai pudichaye"

Ini angane vallathum

6:15 AM  
Blogger Injikadan Mathai said...

for a change "mangoes"...mann dont i miss emm...

4:52 PM  
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