Almost hit by lightning

I was talking to my parents today morning and could hear heavy rain slapping down on the ground. They said it had been raining like that for the last few days. Half way through our conversation there was a shuddering sound and the phone line snapped. I tried calling them back, but I couldn’t. I don’t know yet what happened, but that reminded me of a somber afternoon few years back.

There is a clay mine at one end of our village; the place is a lightning magnet. You could see helpless victims everywhere; Dead trees standing burned from head to root, trees with trunks split vertically, and scores of black charred stumps that were once happy coconut trees.

The area surrounding the mines is open and kids regularly played cricket there. It was an early evening around 15 years ago. Sky was dull, overcast and appeared to break any moment. I was playing cricket with my friends. The other team was bowled out and it was our turn to bat next. During the break we slipped behind the privacy of the wilderness to take a piss. There must have been around 10 of us, all lined up in unison. I unzipped my pants, tossed out my hose and began pumping. I don’t know what I drank, but I pissed like a horse. We were competing as to who could piss the farthest when…

TTAAAAAANNNGGGG…

A bolt of lightning touched down right before us. It was like a bomb going off (Although I have never seen that happen). The humongous bluish-yellow glow blinded me for quite some time and the deafening bang ringed in my ears for two full days. We all ran like little wild pigs. The next thing I know I was standing near a cowshed, immersed knee deep in moist cow dung, my hose still out in the open, and pants completely drenched in piss. There was a strange smell in the air, like the scent of new aluminum utensils. I reached down to zip up and saw hairs on both my hands standing up like bristles, like the mane of a lion! Static electricity in its purest form! The bristles stay put like that for a long time.

Later that evening I went back there to reclaim our cricket gear. The place still smelled like aluminum. Two tall coconut trees were burning, very close to where we were. It was mere miracle we were not hit. Most of the kids were on bare foot. I was connected to the ground at that time by a trail of urine sample. I was lucky that my crown jewels didn’t get fried or dropped off. Thank goodness, you don’t get spare parts for those.

I never told this to anyone, for fear that it would reach Amma and I will forever be banned from playing cricket.