Criminals

After reading this blog I have a two point program to put an end to Bandh, Harthaals and general strikes.

1. Media should stop reporting calls for Bandh and Harthaals. Unless people are aware of this alternate lifestyle choice, they are not going to sit at home and watch those wasted TV serials.

2. Local party goondas with obsessive antisocial personality disorders (like stoning vehicles and attacking shops) should be dragged off and shot. These are the bastards who make Bandhs a success.

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In the interest of reducing raising crimes these days we must consider putting a 3 strike law in place to ensure that habitual crooks, thieves, party goondas, mobsters, pimps and hustlers will be locked up for ever. You do a crime - you go to jail. You do it again; you will be forced to take a pilgrimage to Kakkayam police camp or Fort police station. (All male criminals must also undergo a week of mandatory psycho-therapy where they are locked up and made to watch Malayalam TV serials.) If they survive the treatment and crime again they must be locked up permanently with no possibility of a parole. An inter state prisoner exchange program should be established. Prisoners from Kerala should never go to a prison in Kerala. They must be sent to jails in Bihar or Rajasthan or some other northern state where the natives despise Malayalees, so they can’t get cozy with their patrons and enjoy benifits like scotch whisky, fried sardines and frequent conjugal visits.