Women - now and then

I was in my office today evening scrambling to go pick up my son from his daycare when a colleague ran up to my cube hissing and panting and shaking. She was visibly terrified and looking for help. In the spurt of the moment, for no apparent reason, I somehow assumed that a disgruntled former employee was inside the building chasing her down with a Kalashnikov. She looked so scared and clueless that for a flash moment I panicked myself, and began to crawl under my desk. Then as if being poked with an invisible needle of shame, I felt the need to at least fake some chivalry. After all, what are the chances of any women, let alone a beautiful semi blond co-worker coming to me begging for help. I felt a sudden inrush of testosterone. I collected myself, pulled out a thick power cord dangling from above my desk, and jumped out in to the line of fire ready to strangle the disgruntled former employee with a Kalashnikov. Seeing my strange kalari-payattu pose, she looked at me, with a dirty hesitating glance of pleading and repugnance.

It turned out that she had a cockroach in her cubicle. She is not alone, most women these days are afraid of anything but their husbands. My wife will collapse in a jiffy at the sight of a cat, specially those black ones with shiny green eyes. I had a friend whose bitter half almost called 911 one day, to report a spider. I wish my grandmother could come and teach these women what courage is. Man, is she a strong woman?

.

Flashback.

I may be 10 years old, at my grandmothers’ home for my summer vacation. She is quite old and almost half blind with a pretty thick pair of soda glasses. Her backyard had dense vegetation mostly from arrow roots (koova) and tapioca plants. One day, we were playing inside; when we heard a loud shrill. She was in the back yard harvesting arrow-roots when a big snake lashed at her from between the plants. The poor snake must have been out of it’s mind or new to the area, for it was certain he didn’t know my achamma well. Man, she crushed it’s head with a log of fire wood. The loud sound we heard was the snake screaming "Yentammooooo". Achamma called out to my uncle to bury the perpetrator. My uncle looked at the corpse and shouted “Amma, that’s a ‘chena-thandan’!!! It could have killed you.”

“Don’t worry, It wont kill you NOW!." Achamma replied in a serious tone. For a quick moment she looked more mean that the mean snake itself. That was how old women were like; I think that is how women were meant to be.