Tuesday, May 09, 2006

What goes up

I began writing a piece on the sky rocketing real estate prices, especially in India. I was reflecting on how crazy the situation has become, and wondered if this 'bubble' is likely to burst. Two paragraphs into my reflections, I thought of viewing the whole trend a bit satirically. So I re-wrote my story, borrowed two actors, Akaayil Valya Kittunni Nair and his sidekick Chathans from the house of VKN, for dramatization. So here it goes:

Akaayil Valya Kuttuni Nair lay supine, in his low, coconut oil smothered easy chair, and thought about the rising land prices that are literally going through the roof. The prices are so high and ripe, that the fertile and frustrated big Kittunni, procreator of countless number of documented and undocumented children, and the owner of twice as many acres of land passed down to him by generations, dreamed about the possibility of selling all his property and moving to the islands of Hawaii.Cradling that dream, he thought about the prospects of joining the audacious breed of real estate tycoons and securing a spot in next years Fortune magazine. He hallucinated about playing golf with Bill Gates and Warren Buffet, and dining with none other than her Excellency Gloria Macapagal-Arroyo, president of the Philippines. For a moment he thought how inadequate and ugly his sidekick, Chathans, would be as a caddy. He became intoxicated with the thought of cranberry vodka and single malt whisky served on fine gray goose rocks. He rejoiced the comfort of a siesta in a hammock by the beach basked in warm Hawaiian sun. He made plans in his mind to issue a divorce notice to his obsessively irritating, traditionally build (to Kerala Automobiles, Pappanangodu, specification of 60-60-60), culturally uncouth-ed, bitter half and wished a live in arrangement with a blue eyed, blond haired, Berkley educated, Barbie doll look alike. He dreamed about owning a JetStream 41 and a Maybach 62. Both complete with a custom made signature murukkan chellam and vacuum operated thuppal receptacles made with the finest South African gold.

Reclining in those thoughts, the self proclaimed alpha male suddenly burst into a fit of eccentric laughter. The uncontrolled display of ecstasy made his larger than life man breasts wiggle. The easy chair creaked. Tharavadu reverberated. Seismographs at the institute of Geophysics in the University of Chicago registered a magnitude of 6.0. A sizable serving of the spittle infused beetle nut concoction flew up from his mouth, and landed right on his face. Chathans, his sidekick, who was at his master's feet all this time, later spoke to CNN's international correspondent Christian Amenpour about the incident.

Christian: "Chaathans, could you tell our viewers what happened"
Chatthappa: "Christian, from my vantage point it was hard to see. But I think 'what went up came down'".

PS: According to VKN, Akaayil Valiya Kittunni Nair once expressed his interest for Gloria Macapagal-Arroyo to Gen. Collin Powell.


Blogger പെരിങ്ങോടന്‍ said...

മലയാളത്തില്‍ എഴുതുവാനും സമയം കണ്ടെത്തൂ മാഷെ. ആശംസകള്‍!

12:49 AM  
Anonymous Soni said...

VKN is an author whom I am yet to read inspite of your recommendations. Heard a lot but not been there!

Balance - learn its value! A right mix of humour, wit, description and supreme writing results truly creative writing. You have a tremendous canvas here, wherein you can dabble and scrawl, as much as you want, to get your craft perfect. For this article has cosied up too much with a fat cup of humour and I would wish dearly that it were toned down.

There is no other way than to get perfect and better each day. Writing gives you that luxury. Once the control of mind comes in, it churns out heavenly lines. Then comes a phase, when you can let go of that control and still, you would be writing in God's hand!

9:51 AM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

I'm impressed with your site, very nice graphics!

3:28 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Your are Nice. And so is your site! Maybe you need some more pictures. Will return in the near future.

5:29 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Nice! Where you get this guestbook? I want the same script.. Awesome content. thankyou.

12:32 PM  

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